These Take The Cake

Let's face it, your wife isn't going to eat it, the dog won't even look at it, and you're probably never going to be able to get hungry enough or high enough to brave putting the first piece inside your body. No, the only reason you will continue to have this piece of frost bitten cake in your freezer is to serve as a memory to one of the greatest days of your life. No, not the Bethesda E3 conference that showcased Fallout 4, but your wedding day.

So, if you're ready to tie the knot, and you're part of the master race of video game, comic book, movie loving legends, you may want to consider buying or making your own wedding cake. Sure, a traditional cake is a timeless piece ceremonial tradition, but times my friends they are a changing, and there's no better way to show off your patronage than by cutting the first piece with a Gears of War Lancer, or shoving that piece of Dragon Ball shaped cake in your partners mouth. You'll stand in the glow of the kitchen lights looking back on that blue Tardis cake that's still sitting in your freezer and become too nostalgic to actually throw it out.

Remember, this is her wedding day, so let's not go too over the top on the wedding cake. Something like a blood splattered zombie shooter cake probably wouldn't be the best way to go. Unless of course she's into that kind of thing, which marry her fast because there aren't a whole lot of women out there who would find this as an acceptable. That being said you don't have to go all out with the blood and gore something simple like a golden Mario Star as a cake topper is a classy and elegant way to show off your nerdom.

Now, before you get married, your bride to be will take care of all the other arrangements. She's booked the venue, decorated the hall, invited all the guests, and spent half the net worth of the Kardashian's annual income on the one day a girl dreams about. Her wedding day, but before you go spewing chunks after seeing the bill for her elegant wedding dress, make sure you've taken out a second mortgage just to pay for the horse drawn carriage she wants to whisk you away to a honeymoon you'll more than likely be paying off until the end of your second child's life.

However if you are the the type to want to go a little bit over the top on their wedding cake, there's a whole bunch of great ideas online, from a Star Trek Borg cake to a Legend of Zelda Deku Tree cake. The creativity is out there. You just have to want it enough to find it. Most of these great cakes can be bought at an insane price, but there's also a ton of great “do it yourself” YouTube videos on this subject. Give it a look, I had no idea this was such a popular topic until today. There are a lot of creative nerds out there (go figure).

Now all that money and drama aside, you'll have one last salvation. The taste of that sweet, sweet cake, so make sure it's something you both can enjoy and soak up all that booze you've been drinking all night.

After all you payed for it.

Long story short, don't get married...Ever, it's a scam.